making my way...

It’s been forty days today since my Lola’s (grandma) passing. And even though forty days may seem like a long time to others, till now it still doesn’t feel all that real. Everything at home reminds me of her. I know we’re all here on borrowed time, but is it so bad for me to be selfish and want to keep her around for just a little while longer? Every day since she’s been gone, I still feel my heart get heavy. I, then, think of all the things that I have yet to do, that I always pictured she’d be around for. But life happens, and we’re forced to make do with what life has dealt us. When people ask if I’m okay, how okay can one possibly be after a loss (any kind of loss)? I’ve never really believed that anyone is ever, truly okay. We do what we can to the best of our ability to just be able to function in this world. 

Lola, I miss you now, more than ever. I love you.